Heroization of Soldiers: Support or Pressure? A Podcast with a Psychologist
Friends, hello. My name is Yanina Sokolova. This is our traditional podcast, which we do every weekend to help you get your head around it a little. And you write me letters.
This is not the first time I've seen a letter asking about the military. Friends, let me remind you that our line also works for the military. That is, you dial 5522 from Monday to Friday.
Give it to your friends, warriors, let them spread it in chats, in common groups. 5522. qualified, cool psychologists. The roof is moving, they call, they talk, it gets easier.
Anonymously, for free, meaning no one will find out about it. This is such a small introduction considering the letters you send me. Today I am with Larisa Voloshyna.
Our topic today is the heroization of the military - is it support or vice versa? And what makes them mad. In my interviews, which you often see, we even sometimes stop filming because the military starts saying: "Damn, please, we do n't need this glorification of us and calling us heroes.
Let's not talk about it, because it really pisses us off." Why? And how to behave with military personnel who don't want this and why don't they want it? We will talk about this today with Larisa Voloshyna, a psychologist from our project Worth Living. Larisa is already here.
I am very glad to see you, dear. Ah, thank you. If I may, before I join the topic, the discussion a little, yes, I would like to add that the line is not only for military personnel, but also for their family members, because we truly understand that as of now there are a lot of challenges in families, in families where there are military personnel, in families where military personnel are returning for leave. And this, let's say, situation is very vulnerable within the family.
And so, please, I fully support you, call, write, share. And the most important thing to consider is that usually, when this is, first of all, I consider such a powerful act when the military really calls, because usually, they call, Larissa, let's talk, they call. We have a pretty active one and veterans are calling.
And that's cool, because in fact, in most cases, unfortunately, we still have a component where certain stereotypes work. Yes, for some reason many people do not understand the difference between psychological help and psychiatric help.
For some reason, they sometimes put an equal sign, even though it's not true. We work with our soul. We are working to ensure that the mental health of all of us is at the proper level in the difficult conditions in which we live.
When military personnel are called heroes, is that, uh, a trigger for them or is that normal? And I would divide our discussion into two such components, right? Of course, there's no need to overly heroineize people, because first and foremost, these are people. People who also have fears, who are also scared to such an extent that it is very difficult to control themselves, but they have a task and they have to do it.
That is, it is not a person. For some reason, in most cases, when we call it that, well, in general, if we take it that way, we think that this person doesn't have to, I don't know, go to the doctor, because he's a hero, he has to endure, he has to be strong. Yes, but that's not true.
First, for every such soldier, a military person, because there are also enough girls and women. Yes, first of all, this is a person who has the same characteristics, the same physical, uh, all manifestations, as any other person. Therefore, there must be a certain balance here, 100%.
And first of all, I would say, not even to heroineize, but to respect, recognize certain actions, thank, help, be there for. That's the most important thing.
The longer I stand in traffic jams, the more time I usually have to communicate with the military who are standing in these traffic jams in military vehicles. And this is always a very touching moment.
It's about how they perceive when we, in principle, pay attention to them. And this, I'll tell you honestly, is something that needs to be made into a separate video, to record their reactions to me waving at them, putting my hand there, for example, to my heart, and them rolling down the window. I say there: "Thank you, glory to Ukraine! Thank you for the protection." And you have to see, they either thank their sister, or someone is confused, not understanding at all why they suddenly thanked him.
Someone says: "I'm just a driver, but in military uniform." Nevertheless, I understand that this attention and gratitude is important to them. Well, what would you advise our viewers who are watching this broadcast right now to do when they see a military man in their everyday life? Absolutely ordinary.
I completely agree with you about what you're doing, thank you. And it's really very honorable and they are very pleased with it. Just words of support are so directly healing to the soul.
They then understand why they are there, why they are there, when they get there, well, let's be honest, it's very difficult for them in civilian life when they are periodically at zero. Then even those guys, girls who are in the back, sorry, they are not, let's say, the owners of their own lives, right? They have a task and they have to do it.
And it doesn't matter, rain, snow, hail, whatever's going on, they do it. Therefore, these are simply human values, in fact, for them it is like a balm for the soul. I was riding the subway the other day, I think, and I wanted to give a guy who had, well, maybe a cast, or maybe after surgery, yes, he's a soldier and he had, let 's say, a bandaged arm and it was obvious that he was having a hard time, because he was holding some other things in there, besides his documents.
And I invited him to sit down, and he, well, thanked me simply, well, such ordinary human, yes, actions. He thanked me, but refused.
And it just says something about it, I was, you know, a little bit embarrassed, because I saw among the passengers who were traveling, young guys who were glued to their phones. Well, well, it was kind of embarrassing, to be honest, in the eyes of the military, I was ashamed for those young guys.
who were just sitting there monitoring something on their phone. Yes. Well, of course, this person would tell the guys that I won't sit down, but the manifestation of that tolerance, that respect, that gratitude for the fact that we have the opportunity to meet today, yes, even after such a night, we are able to work, do some daily things precisely thanks to our military. Larisa says this because we are recording this broadcast after the combined night attack on Kyiv.
And it was difficult. I got up three times last night because I had to supervise a child, a teenager who, of course, is not afraid of anything. Here.
And you still go out, work, you still drive and realize that you're driving, Larisa and I just had coffee, you're driving in a traffic jam and it's a terrible traffic jam, it's raining, but damn, you're driving, your city is alive, people are in a hurry somewhere, and children are sitting next to them in a city where there are no years. And it's all thanks to those who are protecting us there right now.
There will be no need for them for all of us. Well, it's really a bag. And this awareness gives you a message about what you should do today. So 100%, can I add a little bit, if you allow me? I would like to say, well, first of all, we are all human, yes, regardless of what profession we work in, but our living conditions, let's say, sometimes require too much activity from us.
Yes, we, like all people, sometimes experience emotional exhaustion, whatever it may be. And you know, I just wanted to share that at such a personal moment in my life, when I went very close to the front line and communicated with my husband and his brothers or with my daughter, and you understand this, uh, let's say, component that the guys, despite being there, they don't have the opportunity to rest, they don't have the opportunity to, say, drink coffee, how can we afford to do that when we want to do it. Yes, we can see it, well, we can allow it.
They can't do it. And when you talk to them, spend a certain period of time, you understand that, well, we shouldn't allow ourselves to say, oh, I'm tired, oh, I'm having a hard time. No, it's not difficult at all.
There are some certain, let's say, limits to all of that. Yes. And how do the military feel when they, I'm not talking about their thoughts, adaptation, and contemplation of what is happening in peaceful cities, including the behavior of other male members. I'm talking purely about my sense of self now.
I understand that it's different because people are different, but overall, the feeling of yourself, when you come here from there and you walk down the street and you walk in uniform, how do you feel? How do you explain to yourself who you are in the eyes of the people around you? Larissa, does he feel normal? A hero? No, usually not. It's usually difficult for guys.
It's difficult, from a moral point of view, to find yourself for that period of time in a society where life just goes on. Well, a little bit, you know, circumstances change, what you see changes, what you're used to every minute.
And here you find yourself in different circumstances. And usually in most cases, it annoys the military at first, especially then they gradually adapt. Yes, to civilian life, but it's a very thorny path, let's say, and everything, uh, depends very much on individual characteristics, of course, and on what this person specifically experienced, what they saw, who they were with, how they got out of that state.
Well, there are a lot of factors that influence how to return, well, have the pleasure that civilians usually have from where they ended up. Our topic today is heroization.
And many, well, from my environment say: "You'll see what happens when the war is over." That is, the people we heroized, well, in general, I don't know how in your environment, in my environment, everyone who serves is a saint. Well, those who protect us are all risking their lives, that's all.
That is, and then a certain moment comes, and this is already fragmentarily visible in the demobilized, in those who are demobilized, in those who are veterans. How much does the perception of the state as an organ that should take care of heroes after demobilization, after completing military service in the veteran period of life, change, whom they called heroes already in these realities? You know, you feel like it's going to be hard.
And do you think this process of heroization will affect how military personnel feel about themselves when their service ends? And how to make it so that there are cases, I won't voice them now, you all see and read this, the lives of soldiers who have returned and often feel like shit, not heroes. And it's quite a contrast to when the state needs you, how it leads you, how it perceives you, how it positions you in front of society.
And then, when you can no longer physically, for example, perform those functions and who you become, it's just a very difficult topic for me. I believe that it is simply evil what they do, starting from payments to the general attitude in hospitals, everywhere.
So, what to do about this? on a psychological level. First of all, well, I think maybe someday we will be heard as a society in general that mental health and psychological support, I think, should be in every institution. And it should be like teaching in school, yes, some subject for, well, depending on the age category, but it should be a subject that could support even those little children, because we all understand perfectly well what we will be dealing with later.
It seems difficult to us now, but in reality, I completely agree that someday, well, everything has a beginning and an end. Someday this horror will end and we will have the most critical situation in society yet.
And therefore, to properly teach the population itself, regardless of age, gender, profession, and everything else, how to properly react to certain responses from the military, how to properly honor even the memory of those who are no longer there. Because, let's be honest, not everyone honors memory at 9 a.m.
Well, that is, if we are talking about more western regions, then the city simply stops. I saw it myself. Lviv, thank you very much.
Chernivtsi, at 9 am everyone stops and pays their respects. Who among us, let's say, is actually related to the military? Well, in schools, yes, I mean in general, if you find yourself in the city center, yes, at 9 am, people react differently. We are facing, let's say, difficult times, but I am more than sure that if the state nevertheless takes into account the fact that it is necessary to expand free support services as much as possible, to train, to support each other, then this will probably have a positive effect on the fact that the military will be perceived in the right way, because it is really impossible to heroinize without a humane ministerial attitude towards the military.
That is, first of all, there must be respect, there must be not just words that I am so grateful, but the realization that today I really opened my eyes and my arms and legs are intact. It's because some of the guys, we don't know their names, yes, but they shoot down, they track, they do everything possible to keep us alive.
So we should be grateful for that. Thank you, Larissa. Hearts to all who protect us. This is really very, very important. I really hope that the state will not wait and see, but will work on this now.
We have a good Minister of Veterans Affairs. Friends, write in the comments what you think about today's topic. Also write to the military about your views on the issue of heroization.
And, we remind you that if things are bad for the military and their loved ones, families, those who are waiting for their soldiers, defenders, defenders from captivity, this also applies to those who have experienced loss, this also applies to the loss of a military person, a loved one. Please take care of your inner state.
I'm asking you very much, because this affects everything. I don't really believe in psychosomatics, but if you feel bad, then, believe me, physiologically it wo n't lead to anything good either. I think you've seen examples in your life.
5522 Larisa Voloshina also works on our line. Please feel free to use the free psychological help from our foundation. We made this line just for you.
Well, write in the comments, maybe there are other topics you want us to discuss. We will do it. [music] No. [music].